“And I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”

Allright folks, there is going to be an underlying theme to this blog, and most posts in particular.  Music is my friend.  I have a song for all the different feelings, moods, and experiences in my life.  One of my favorite albums of all time is “The Joshua Tree” by U2.  Still haven’t found what i’m looking for describes the majority of people in this world.  We’re all in a constant search for something, we just don’t always know what it is.  This song is so fitting for these times.  When you first dive into online dating, it’s all about reading profiles and seeing if there is common ground between you and a potential “match”.  The funny thing is…99% of people say the same thing!  If that’s the case, why is it so tough to find the right person?  Everyone is looking for someone to make them laugh, to “explore” the world with, someone that is “drama free”, and someone to be a best friend.  I’m not kidding, I feel like this is on everyone’s profile!!  So the question is…if we’re all looking for that, why is it so hard to find? 

I think the answer is that we all define these things differently.  Now, i’m not going to lie, the “no drama” is one that cracks me up.  I believe you only have to deal with drama, if you’re a dramatic person.  You choose to be involved with people with drama, and if it’s not your thing then how did you find it in the first place?  There are dramatic people out there.  There are people that love being wrapped up in everyone’s business.  These people are funny because they love every minute of it, yet claim to hate it.  If you truly are looking for drama free, then stop creating conditions to find that. 

So maybe this is where I define what i’m looking for.  I do want a best friend.  I do want someone that picks me up when I fall down.  I want someone that has empathy when times are tough, and someone that is the icing on my cake.  I am looking for someone that is driven.  Someone that has experiences in this world that have molded who they are today.  Someone that has a career, and works hard for it every day.  Someone that knows work isn’t all there is to life, and knows how to recognize the little things in life that make them happy.  It’s all about the little things, folks.  If you can’t recognize how great a day is when little things happen…how will you ever be satisfied when the great big things happen? 

I started following a blog recently titled “1000 awesome things”, and it has helped me to recognize the little things.  Beyond that, it has also helped me to realize things that seem bad actually are for the best.  Check out that blog, and recognize the good things in life that happen every day.  This posting in particular opened my eyes, and hopefully it will do the same for you!

http://1000awesomethings.com/2010/02/17/567-getting-to-the-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel/

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Clean Slate

Well, here I am.  26 years old, and starting over.  It’s funny how we become creatures of habit in our life, and become scared of the unknown.  I’ve had so many changes in the last 6 months of my life.  There have been great things such as a huge promotion at work, winning some great accounts, finding out I will be an uncle in December, and learning how to depend on my family.  There have also been some tough pieces of life that have changed. 

What do you do when you wake up one day, and realize all that you thought was going to happen never will?  You lose it.  You get sent in a spiral of emotions, and don’t know what to do.  What do you do when someone you have loved for years decides to leave?  How do you handle the pain, loneliness, and emptiness.  Well, the answer is you learn to depend on those that never stop loving you.  It’s been 4 months since the initial action that rocked my world, and i’m here today to say that i’m finally doing fine.  My friends and family have supported me, picked me up, and made me realize that i’m better off alone and lonely, than miserable for the rest of my life!!  It sounds so obvious, but I think most people fear the loneliness and sacrifice what they really want in order to avoid the feeling. 

The purpose of this blog is to let me express my thoughts, opinions, and emotions of leaving all that I knew and starting over.  But the biggest question is how do you start over and find new people to date?  I travel constantly with work, and my office environment isn’t one that offers opportunities to meet others in a similar place in life as I am.  That is the key…finding someone in a similar place in life.  So like most normal people in a younger generation…you turn to online dating!  This blog will be about my experiences jumping out into this new unknown world!  If you find it interesting, awesome.  If you are going through a similar phase/experience, share your thoughts!  And if you’ve always been afraid to give it a shot because of the notion of online dating, maybe this blog will help shape your opinion and get you off the sofa and out of the bars to find someone who truly is the right fit for you.  This is my first post, and I will continue to update it as I go through this process.  At this point in time, i’ve been on a few dates and have others planned, so i’m hitting the ground running! 

Stay tuned, and I will start to share my experiences, stories, and hopefully successes in this great unknown!

To those that have been my backbone these past four months (you know who you are), I can’t thank you enough for being there for me.  You are no one in this world unless you have folks that love you, care about you, and will do anything for you.  If you don’t have folks like that in your life, you need to find them as your first step.  You will never find happiness in this world unless you are happy with yourself.  That’s the next key to this whole process…Realizing that someone you date/marry/love isn’t your happiness in life, it’s the icing on your cake.  Be happy with yourself, and great things will come when you find that right person.

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